It's Just So Wrong.......

I was sitting here at the office after lunch – trying to think of what exactly I was so irritated about today. I am just “not me”. Well – I – at first thought – wanted to blame Celine Dion – I was trying very intently to figure out why I hate her so much. My conclusion – she is just F***ing annoying! Oprah Winfrey is also in that category – but I don’t have time to get started on THAT one! Then there is the “ski mask” issue. Who the hell wears a ski mask? Who the hell buys a ski mask? And who the hell would sell a ski mask? (I actucally saw a bum sitting on the corner of the street as I came into work this morning – wearing a ski mask! It was a lovely shade of baby poo green!) Don’t be calling these things “ski masks” they are “robber masks” – and if you see someone wearing one – chances are they are not in the Olympic Ski Finals, chances are they are robbing something and/or someone! Businesses that sell ski masks should be fined! I think ski masks are the dumbest thing in the world. We should all join together and get a “I Hate Ski Masks” campaign going. (And NO – this IS NOT a hint to have the “ski mask” as a “Ski Amigo Gear” thing! It would end up being roasted in the BBQ - just like my Oiler's toque! Which by the way was NOT of MY doing! JONSEY! Or was it my socks that you roasted on the BBQ?) Maybe I’ll just sit here and ferment for the rest of the day – cause I have NO productivity left in me……..nor do I have the energy to find any….can’t be bothered searching……….Diz

CHANGE

I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping. Sometimes I have to block my ears, or close my eyes – but change will be embraced. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. From being a Mum of young children to a villian to those same kids who are now teens. I’d have a better relationship with a chameleon in the desert some days! Life is short and I am living it and allowing my ride to change. Whether it be through tears, sighs, screams and/or laughter. Every morsel of change will be taken in……not scrambled or shaken….just stirred. Cheers! Diz

LIES MY PARENTS TOLD ME (Part #1)

I am doing this blog in hopes that I can talk myself out of flattening some tires – or poisoning some office coffee, or maybe be more mild and wet someones office chair. I sit here absolutely frustrated, stressed and ready to jump off of a bridge – I started to think of advice my parents gave me – pretty well all my life – as I am a fairly volatile person! So here starts the beginning of Lies My Parents Told Me…..with a look at do they actually really work in every phase of my life! (Not a good result up to this point!)
# 1 – Just be nice to them and they’ll be nice to you.
Okay – like this really works!? Remember this one? Didn’t work on the school playground – and it doesn’t work in the workplace. Especially when one has a boss who is a “predator” and sees everyone else in the office as a “rabbit” or a “mouse” – just something she can sink her teeth into. I mean – try telling a “rabbit” or a “mouse” to be nice to the “fox”…….most times - niceness will be interpreted by the predator as a weakness and will try and toy with you until they get you just in the right spot where they will rip your face off – don’t fool yourself….you are doing nothing by “being nice”, except giving the “predator” an ins to your demise.
# 2 – Just ignore them, they’ll go away.
Once again – you being the “rabbit or the “mouse” – ignoring the fox doesn’t make him go away – does it? Ignoring never wins if your boss is sneaky or nasty…trying to convice these “predators” that you are a predator yourself, by puffing up – (by ignoring them) – sorta gives the game away doesn’t it? I mean – I tried that – I was circled, she got right into my space and my face, she stood in my blind spot, she crowded me and she constantly steered the conversation into her court – while I was speaking………I may look like a “rabbit” or a “mouse” (though I have NEVER really seen myself as a victim – I am more of an “alpha” what ever – not a predator – nor a victim), to her I am that bunny or rodent – she definitely has to get her antenae tuned! She is a scavenger – nothing else – and ignoring a scavenger doesn’t do anyone any good! So – what I am left with is to get this “predator” in my cross hairs……..it will be so unexpected! But which “cross hairs” shall I use? (the office coffe, chair, etc.)

I am not a “Bunny” damn it! Nor am I a little fuzzy, hopping “rodent”. I have great periferal vision – so no one stands in my blind spot – no one stands in “my space” and no one will turn me into a dead bunny or mouse….dead as in brainless, spineless, and there is no way I will be the next meal…….so if Ignoring them or being nice doesn’t work……….what the heck does? Still trying to figure it out……..Diz
(more Lies My Parents Told Me to come…..Man – I have plenty!)