PERFECTION

I am Nobody.

Nobody's Perfect...

Therefore, I must be PERFECT!

I am a MAGNET...

Okay – I have come to the conclusion that I am an asshole magnet! Like you know – I walk into a bookstore – just looking for whatever – mostly something on sale – as soon as you pick up a book – WHAM! – some asshole bookstore worker approaches you and starts to tell you about the author, the story, the conflicts in the book, what style the book has been written in, etc. Well my response now is, “I guess I don’t need to buy this anymore – you have condensed the whole thing into some insignificant rambling, and I no longer feel the need to read-DUMB ASS!” Then there is “Those I.T. people” – what language are they speaking in? I understand that Boomhauer guy on King of The Hill more than I understand the language of “Those I.T. people”! You know the bane of my existence? It’s incompitence – laziness – whatever……….I mean I have been told that the male lion is the laziest mammal on the face of the Earth…..I never did agree to that – I always thought that professional musicians were the laziest mammals on Earth – next to teenagers – now I have come to the conclusions that Alberta Government Worker’s are #1! Now THAT is something to be proud of! And for some reason they think that I am the one to gravitate to to tell their sorry-assed, pathetic, mundane, life stories to. GAWD! I am an ASSHOLE MAGNET………..Diz

Mr. Bill puzzle solved by Onionhead!

Okay - now I know what has happened to Mr. Bill.....Poor Mr. Bill - he needs an Intervention. I guess we should be looking for him in trash bins, under stairwells, in the ditch....But no matter where Mr. Bill is - his hair sure stays tidy! No longer perplexed...Diz

Just a little insight into Diz...

I decided that I was a tad bored today – so I started thinking “stuff” .. ya – my mind is like a butterfly in a blender when I am bored…..I get very strange thoughts and very strange answers that come to me at the same time…my shrink says that’s called “psychosis”…..I call it normal.
1. If I could be a super hero – who would I be? I think I would be Ms. Invisible – I don’t think she actually exists in the super hero world – but she should!
2. What is my favourite dessert? It HAS to be my own home made chocolate cheescake. When I make it – it becomes a breakfast item!
3. My biggest pet peeve? Incompetence, Bull Shit and fake people. I can’t pick one……..they all drive me CRAZY!
4. Favourite place to travel? Las Vegas – if Bill and Kev ever get back to me! But the real one would have to be Destin, Florida…(like I have gone to sooooo many places in my life!)
5. My favourite childhood candy? It would have to be “Black Cat” squares (black licorice toffee square things!) or Root Beer Barrels, candy lips were pretty good too (yumm-wax!).
6. My favourite soap scent? It is definitely “Pear Linden” by Fruits of Passion. Pear Linden bubble bath, Pear Linden soap, Pear Linden cream and powder and a scotch (or 7 or 8) – that is the best way to end a day!
7. My favourite childhood toy? “Clackers” – if you need to ask – you missed out on a very cool toy that could break your wrist, fingers, etc. in a matter of seconds….also making this probably one of the only toys that will NEVER make a come back – due to the number of injuries it has and could inflict! (numchuks with a twist!)
8. If I were an animal – what would I be? A female Grizzly Bear…I already have all the traits – except hibernation is not allowed in the human population.
9. If I could invite a bunch of people to a dinner absolutely anyone…who would they be? Johnny Depp (he’s so yummy!), Marty Feldman, John Travolta, Einstein (I’d want to pick his brain about a few things!), all 4 Beatles, Judge Judy and maybe an elephant.
10. What is the oddest / most interesting dream I have ever had? Okay – after I asked myself that – something about insulated coffee cups, fish, a crab, feathers, an amputated foot, bright lights and a spinning feeling came over me. I don’t think I would like to go there – not just yet!
Trying not to give too much away…….Diz

What ever happened to.......

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO MR. BILL???????
OHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

When technology doesn't work so good.......

HEY! I know it's a bit early - but here is a GREAT WAY to send messages whilst Ski Amigo-ing! Who needs technology! Or is this a message that was left from past years by the Amigos? A litle late in responding.......Diz

Yup - Jeff in his X-Mas Garb......

Doesn't he just look wonderful in drag? He is ever so Christmassy!