WHOA.............Retro or WHAT?!?

The Amigos are heading out this week-end for their 20th Anniversary trip to Montana. Check out the "20 years ago pic" (1988-duh!) (hence the retro! Look at Uncle Al!!!!! He's got HAIR!) AND - some of my first art work................geez - that's almost embarrassing!!!!! Enjoy!

Feeling OLD!........................Diz

YIKES!

Hey – guess what? Woke up yesterday morning and our furnace had not been running since God knows when in the night! It was 5 degrees in our house! With the wind chill was minus 57 celcius outside! (Our thermometer indoor/outdoor - which is digital - isn't even registering the outside temperatures!) The boys didn’t notice – they had their heaters on! Poor Jerry (the guinea pig) – wasn’t too happy! I just laid on the couch with him all snuggly in the blanket for most of the day – (mid-afternoon) – putting him back for a pee or whatever – every now and again. He kept me warm – I kept him warm! Dave is off because the Grade 12’s are doing exams – and he was walking around with a toque, gloves and a down vest! I had “heater slippers” the heating pad – and three heaters pointed at me – while I was on the couch – with 3 blankies – pillow – drank LOTS of coffee with Bailey’s and then tea (the caffeine was starting to make me jittery – and that’s not good when one has a pig on their lap! Don’t go there Jonsey! The Bailey’s? Well - that just kept me warm!) As I said - I had to stay home and wait for the furnace guy…..he was REALLY good and (not good looking – or anything else – just good at the furnace thing!) gave me tips on how to deal with an older furnace and said we probably have at least another 2 years with it…..regardless – it took almost – well it did take the whole day for our house to warm up! I woke up this morning and swore that the thing had gone off again – I think I am shell shocked or something! (More like or something!) This deep freeze does not look like it is going anywhere any time soon! You Amigo Eastern guys....................skiing in February? We get REALLY cold temperatures in February................maybe Montana won't be so bad - keep your fingers crossed! Cause this isn't breaking up any time soon as I said before....................sitting with my hand in my armpits.....................DIZ

A little gadget for the Amigos......

Something to look at for your ski trip Amigo guys..................not sure if this will work with a laptop though! CHEERS! Diz

Yup - Diz

A couple of words for Ya'll

Word/Expression #1: "A BADUNKADUNK BUTT":
ADJ,: The greater than averaged sized booty of a female when in motion. The booty makes 2 moves. 1st, badunk(up) and 2nd,adunk(down).
Damn, did you see the booty on that one..it was like....badunkadunk!

Word/Expression #2: "Car Booger"
Noun,: A chunk of ice or hard slush, usually dark brown, which is found in the middle of, or alongside, the road in winter, having fallen off a passing car. It builds up like a stalactite behind the wheel from dirty road slush being thrown up there and sticking.

Dear Uncle Pete... Weather was a bit warmer today so car boogers were in evidence everywhere on the roads... kids were dodging cars and running out to kick them apart on their way home from school.... p.s. Mom's hemorrhoids are acting up again.

"a ba duh"...(what were you thinking!)................DIZ

Two Cows...

Two cows were standing in a field.

Daisy says to Dolly: “I was artificially inseminated this morning!”

Dolly responds with: “NO WAY! I don’t believe you!”

Daisy answers: “It’s TRUE! NO BULL!”

(Just seemed like a thing to say today………………Diz!)

Whaaaaaaaa?

You know - I should just leave everything to the monkeys to do. At least they'd have fun doing it! And that goes for anything that needs to be done - housework, shovelling, work work, what ever! Diz

My Favourite MS Error Messages

Here are a few of my favourite MS error messages:

Yup............................Diz

Cliches are NONSENSE!

See - I like to peruse and find strange things to think about - then my brain goes into over drive and then you get a "Dizzy Blog". Today it's on cliches!

"You Can't Take It With You When You Die": Well - that depends on what it is! Don't you think? If it's a wonderful outfit that you have always loved - of course take it with you (wear it!), you can even put things in your pockets - or have someone withdraw all your money and place it in the coffin with you. If they happen to steal some along the way - make sure to come back and haunt them.

"You Learn Something New Everyday": Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you've learned it doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it - so it's old. Columbus is a great example of this.

"Tomorrow Is Another Day": Not necessarily true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But you know what? By that time, it will be today again.

"Those Were The Days": No......WRONG! Those were the NIGHTS! Think back. Weren't the nights better? Days you had to work. Nights were parties, dancing, drinking, and getting a little action where ever! So - "THOSE WERE THE NIGHTS!"

"If It's Not One Thing, It's Another": No, not always. Sometimes if it's not one thing, not only is it another, but it turns out to be something else entirely.

"Nobody Ever Said Life Was Fair": I specifically remember as I was growing up, at least 5 different people telling me that life was fair. One put it this way: "Life, you will find, is fair". Oddly enough - all those 5 people are now dead, and they died before the age of 23.

" You Can't Have It Both Ways": That depends on how intimately you know the other person. Maybe you can't have it both ways at once, but if you've got a little time, you can probably have it six or seven ways!

"It Takes Two To Tango": Sounds good, but simple reasoning will reveal that actually it only takes one to tango. It does take two to tango together. But one person is certainly capable of tangoing on his/her own. Ya just might look a tad silly!

"What You Don't Know, Won't Hurt You": Why don't we just ask Julias Caesar and John F. Kennedy? Or Martin Luther King?

"Life Is Short": Sorry - Life IS NOT short, it's just that everything else lasts so long - mountains, rivers, stars, planets, parrots, turtles. Actually life lasts just the right amount of time. Until you die.

Death on the other hand.........is very, very, very short. Diz

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACK

Okay - so it has been like ages since I have been here...............or there for that matter. I had a little unexpected melt down........like I felt like I was the nickel being crapped out of the beaver's butt.............but I'm more back, I'm more better, I'm more aloof, and of course I am more dizzy! I thought that I would share a few things that I have learned whilst I was away picking at my own brain with instruments like a garden spike, q-tips, folded pieces of paper (the noise is very relaxing!) all alone in my own little world.
1. I have learned that if you wait long enough - there will come a time when your nose will need to be picked.
2. I have learned that eating asparagus makes my pee smell.
3. I have learned that kids are VERY strange and extremely irrational - anyone over 30 should stay away from kids under 30!
4. I have learned that it takes over 2 days for a dandylion to die after applying Kill-ex!
5. I have learned that the faster I move - the faster my heart beats, and the more deaf I become. (What?)
6. I have learned that the faster I eat the faster I lose that eating. (Crap!)
7. I have learned that I hate the cold.
8. I have learned that if you listen hard enough - you can actually hear fish spit!
9. I have learned that time does not heal all wounds.
10. I have learned that if you laugh for a week and a half solid - your sides will actually ache and you may start to develop some abs!
11. I have learned that I CAN live alone and I LOVE IT!
12. I have learned that dishes that remain in the sink, don't wash themselves, though they seem to do that for other members of a household.
13. I have learned that dust gets in an on the light switches of your home.
14. I have learned that most heart attacks do not have similar symptoms. (I think I am having one now!)
15. I have learned that no matter how much wisdom you pass on to your children - they hold on to approx. 0.005% of what they have been told.
16. I have learned that F*** YOU! is not an appropriate response to give a solicitor.
17. I have learned that when one loses weight, one also gets treated VERY differently than before you lost weight!
18. I have learned that I will never look like Liz Taylor or Marlon Brando no matter how hard I try. (Anf why would I want to anyways?)
19. I have learned that some people just do not want to be helped and just like to wallow in self pity.
20. I have learned to never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
21. I have learned that the reason I never can seem to reach my full potential at work can be summed up by two words: (a) Bitches, and (b) meetings.
22. I have learned that I love music that reminds me of rainbows and butterflies on crack.
23. I have learned that there is a very fine line between a hobby and an obsession.
24. I have learned that too many people have confused there career with their lives.
25. I have learned that being bored stiff for a week or so is a good thing.
26. I have learned that I get pushed so far - then I don't give a shit - so stop talking to me!
27. I have learned that I love to talk - even if no one is around to listen to me!
28. I have learned that I crack myself up at least 4 times a day - and I mean to the point of tears! Man I have a great sense of humour!
29. I have learned that I have some REALLY great friends, and they all make me laugh (some for very different reasons that may only be funny to me!)
30. I have learned that the best advice I could ever receive is from anything non-human.
31. I have learned that milk tastes like aluminium if you drink it after brushing your teeth with minty toothpaste.
32. I have learned that if you start a painting with a drink (or other) - you must finish the painting with a drink (or other). If you start a painting sober - than it should be completed sober.
33. I have learned that my last pee before I go to bed at night is actually close to 7 pees. See - I have learned that the bladder changes as one ages as well!
34. I have learned that males really have terrible bathroom and hygiene issues.
35. I have learned that if you cough hard enough - you can piddle in your pants. (It's that age and bladder thing again).
36. I have learned that if you stand with your arms raised on the scale - you will show as being a pound or 2 lighter!
37. I have learned that if I see a "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" sign - it's probably best to obey it!
38. I have learned that if you use a security camera as a mirror - you could really makes someone's day!
39. I have learned that breaking out in song in the middle of a store, when you are with others, is not an appropriate thing to do.
40. I have learned that "A dab will not do you".
41. I have learned that Bailey's in your morning coffee, every day - does not make you an alcoholic - just a much happier person for an hour or two, then the headache starts - but there are pills for that!
42. I have learned that someone should invent a musical recliner. (Or do they have those already?)
43. I have learned that I do not look like Madonna when I put funnels under my shirt - no matter what size!
44. I have learned that those voices that I always thought were in my head - have now moved into my personal space, and they have become much louder.
45. I have learned that no one will make me a meal - even if I grovel and sniffle.
46. I have learned that if you lean in real close when painting with acrylics - you can catch a wiff of a poo like scent.
47. I have learned that no matter how much you sniff white out - it doesn't get you high.
48. I have learned that I love to smell stuff!
49. I have learned that squirrels move like G.I. Joe.
50. I have learned that some people are just plain rude and uncivilized. (Actually - this was just re-confirmed......I really already knew that.....how do you think I melted down?)
51. I have learned that when you lose weight - your feet also lose weight and you need to not only buy new clothes but new shoes too!
52. I have learned that nothing much turns me on. (or off)
53. I have learned that if you want to be left alone - just start crying - it'll clear the room.
54. I have learned that some people just can't learn.
55. I have not learned when to stop anything....................DIZ