Buzz Words

I started thinking the other day – (imagine – the Diz was thinking – and yes – you could here the squeaking of the wheels and there was also a waft of smoke emanating from my brain!) about how/where/when the word Blog came to be, along with all associated words. I am here to tell you that after much research, I have come to these definitions of Blog and anything that is Blog-worthy. I must also say that these do not express the opinion of “THIS BLOGGER” (ME) – or the Blog-Mates that I have made on my blogging journey! In observation of all these shitty phrases and acronyms, I've decided to coin another phrase that can be used for "blog" called: comment-log or CLOG for short. What users do is labor over documenting their inconsequential lives, trivializing man's greatest invention, the microprocessor, until the Internet is so CLOGGED that commerce comes to a screeching halt. Anyone contributing to the congestion would be known as a CLOGGER.
Blog: is literally shorthand for "boring;" a vulgar, overused word that strikes your ear with the dull thud.
Blogger: Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. (ME!)
Blogging: If minds had anuses, blogging would be what your mind would do when it had to take a dump.
Blogged: What you call a trivial or largely inconsequential topic once bloggers have processed through every tired detail. For more on this, look into: every minor news story.
Blogosphere: The "blogosphere" is the new buzz word that has replaced "information super highway." It's what idiots like to call a collection of "blogs," otherwise known as a tragedy.
Blogomania: Like all other manias, except relating to the infatuation of blogs. It's one step above the more caustic phrase "blog-o-rama."
Blogroll: A long list of links that nobody will ever click on. Bloggers not only link to their friends and fellow bloggers, but their eventual goal is to link to every linkable document on the Internet. Most "blog rolls" are so full of links that it can bring even the mightiest of search engines to a crawl as they sort through all the frivolous bullshit bloggers link to.
Blogshare: An imaginary share of a blog's worth, which is ironic, since most blogs have an imaginary share of readers.
Blogstorm: A zany phrase news anchors like to use any time they think there's an abnormal amount of posts on blogs regarding any particular topic. Of course, they fail to consider any amount of posting to a blog is abnormal since people who are well adjusted usually have better things to do, i.e., work, or failing that, anything else.
Blog Swarm: Stupid.
Blogging Community: Losers, goths, bedwetters, and journalism dropouts.
Blawg: Some idiot thought it would be clever to spell "blog" phonetically using the word "law" in the title. It's a phrase used to describe blogs primarily dealing with the law and legal issues. Wow, real clever you tool! How did you come up with that one?
Blogebrity: Wow, guess what this one stands for? Too easy. Hey, anyone can do it: take a blogger who's a chef, and you get: BLEF. A blogger who's a dentist? BENTIST. A female blogger with an itch? You guessed it: a BITCH.
Photoblog: Photoblogs make me yearn for the day when cameras weren't digital, film cost money, and it took time to develop pictures. I remember back when it wasn't easy for any random dolt with a camera to go out take countless pictures of nothing. Nothing is exactly what these pictures are of. No focus, no theme, no message, no posturing. Just countless pictures of McDonald’s at 2 AM. We don't care that you went to McDonald’s. You're not an artist. You're not deep. Get a new hobby.
Warblog: A blog that primarily deals with war. Filled with whiny blow hards who are fixated on their stubborn ideas and conspiracy theories.
Warblogger: Like all other bloggers, an idiot. Usually a self-righteous prick with a political axe to grind.
Warblogging: The act of writing amateur, unfounded, and borderline illiterate opinions about war and war strategy.
iPod: This is one of those inventions that makes people say: "why didn't I think of that?" Damn that's brilliant. I had that idea years ago. I also have another idea: a car that can fly. I will sue anyone who makes it.
iPodder: A pompous ass who thinks he's eclectic. Wake up you big dummy: you're not living in an iPod commercial. You can't dance. Everything you listen to sucks. Get a job.
Killer App: I can't stand this phrase, mostly because it's applied so loosely. App is short for "application," but that doesn't stop people from using it every chance they get: "the fast food industry needs a killer app." What? What does that even mean? An application?
Travelblog: Guess
Friendblog: None are known to exist since bloggers don't have friends.
Watchblog: Let's not.
Vog: I
Vloggers: CAN'T
Vlogging: GO
Vlogged: ON
Moblog: ANYMORE.
I live with a Jogger-it’s gotta count for something………..DIZ