Strange Analogies from Grade 12 Students.....

One of those days - I sit here at work over lunch and I have decided NOT to work......They won't give me overtime.....I don't give them overtime. (I know that that seems to be an obvious thing - but this is the Alberta Government I am talking about here!) Anyways - I came across some analogies from Grade 12 Students (How I find these sites is beyond me......) but I felt I had to share...so here we go!.......
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a thigh master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, like under pants in the dryer without a fabric softner sheet.
3. She grew on him like a colony of E.coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
4. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.
5. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
6. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree.
7. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
9. He fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
10. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 6:00.
11. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
12. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
13. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
14.They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
15. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
16. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
17."Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
19. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
20. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
21. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
22. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
23. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
24. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
25. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
And that folks is all I have to share with you at this time............DIZ