When did I become a DUDE?

Okay – so – I have been through and am still going thru this teenage boy thing. All of a sudden my sweet little boys hit those teen years – and mother – well – she becomes more of an annoyance that they have to mumble responses to every now and again. The words “I don’t know?” Come out something like “I uh oh?” Kind of all blended together…no individual words. Once those teen years hit - their hormones surging through their bodies have cut a path through the speech center in their brains; their mouths, when they speak at all, produces mere shrunken shreds of complete sentences apparently understood only by other members of this species. Sometimes it’s just an audible grunt…the grunt can mean approval – or not. Messages that are left are written like something a caveman would put on a cave wall. “i’m out…will b L8. r u ok with that?” Well – whether or not I am “okay with that” makes NO difference! Do what you need to do buddy! My sweet l’il guys have suddenly become strange slouching creatures, with some sort of stubble that might get shaved if there is a female involved on that day…otherwise – I’ll just look like they drove through a puddle of mud with their head out a window - mud on their upper lip and cheeks. “S’up”, “My bad” and “Burn” have become the three most common words in my house. While I am trying my best to keep wrinkles and sagging from happening with age – here I have a 15 year old that wears gravity defying pants – sort of looks like he’s wearing a “big boy diaper”. I mentioned that the other day to him – “Snort-Grunt” was the answer I got! What more should I have expected? Not sure if it was approval – but almost certain it wasn’t! My 18 year old – adolescence has left him incapable of living like a civilized human being! I mean – he’ll eat all the food in the refrigerator – but not know how to close a door, he’ll spend an hour in the shower – but has no idea how to hang up a wet towel. I so understand now why some species eat their young! It is to avoid adolescence! I mean – I totally agree with cutting the apron strings – but to have them severed? And to have something that used to be at the other end become so incredibly Neanderthal…..and then have the audacity to tell ME to “Act normal”? And yes – the line was actually “Dude…why can’t you act normal?” So when did I actually become a “dude?” The dictionary says that a “dude” is a “guy”, “fellow” or “man”! I gave birth to these morons – I AM NOT A DUDE! Yes – those good ‘ole apron strings – I think I’ll hang on to them for a while longer – maybe in 20 years from now – these boys will “be normal” – or I may just have to use those apron strings to choke’ em! Enjoying life…DIZ