Crackhead Squirrels

You know - I was talking to one of Nick's friends the other day - and he was telling me about the psychotic squirrel that runs around his window every morning at 6:00 or seems ready to attack at any moment. I wondered what could make a squirrel so viscious - I mean - they are such a sweet looking little creature. Well - it's the crack cocaine. That is my conclusion. All those dealers that hide their stashes of crack cocaine - ready to sell - are being found by the squirrels as they are preparing for winter. I mean - if I was a squirrel and had a choice - would I be picking crab apples off the tree? Nope - I'd be in the park where the pickings are easy - and I could get my furry little paws on the hidden stashes of crack cocaine. They don't know exactly what they are ingesting - but they like it - so next time you see a squirrel being rather aggressive - don't try to kill it or hurt it - send it off to detox and rehabilitation. Either that - or train it to bring some of the findings back to you - like a homing pigeon! Cheers Diz